Do provide confidentiality. |
Don’t talk to someone if you are not in a good mood i.e. if you are angry or upset. |
Do focus on just the person when you’re talking to them. It may be helpful to a quiet room to avoid any type of distraction. |
Don’t raise your voice or talk sharply — it can sound like you are upset even if you are not. |
Do ask if they are ready for a chat or if there is a suitable time for a conversation. |
Don’t talk to them like they are children. |
Do ask them open ended questions that will allow them to share their feelings. e.g. “What was it like when you were growing up?” |
Don’t cross your arms or have bad posture when you are talking to someone. Be inviting by keeping your arms down the side and sitting upright — it shows you are ready to have a conversation. |
Do use simple language so they can understand. |
Don’t make judgement or jump to conclusions. |
Do speak clearly & at a good pace. |
Don’t say, “I know how you feel” or “I feel sorry for you”. |
Do ask one question at a time; be patient & allow time for them to respond. |
Don’t ask closed ended questions that result in a Yes or No answer. E.g. “Did you like the movie?” |
Do use appropriate touch when allowed like hugging or holding hands etc. |
Don’t interrupt when they are in the middle of telling you something. |
Do be silent & just LISTEN — it’s ok if you don’t have anything
to say. Sometimes they just want someone to listen to them. |
Don’t downplay the person’s issues or problems by saying, “Oh it’s not that bad” or “everything will be fine!” |
Do choose your words carefully. |
Don’t GIVE ADVICE. |
Do clarify what you have just talked about with them to make sure everyone is on the same page. |
Don’t argue — even if you may not agree with them. |
Do use humour appropriately — it’s ok to laugh about misunderstandings or mistakes. |
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Do be encouraging. |
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Do observe for non-verbal cues to see if what they are saying matches with how they are feeling. |
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Do validate their feelings like, “I can see that you are upset about something. |
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